How to develop true inner confidence

One of my motivations for writing Maximum You was that I wanted to help its readers to develop true inner confidence.  Developing authentic confidence can have a transformational effect on a client’s ability to achieve their career and professional goals and build fulfilling and healthy relationships.

I frequently work with clients riddled with self-doubt who think they need to adopt a confident persona to project confidence. This ‘fake it til you make it’ approach only gets you so far.  Building authentic inner confidence comes from identifying and building on your natural strengths, rather than trying to copy other people, and creates a solid emotional and mental foundation from which to take on life’s challenges.

Here are my top five tips to developing authentic confidence:

1) Get clear on your natural strengths. Spend time reflecting on this alone, also ask friends, family and co-workers what they think you are particularly good at. Use these questions from Chapter 10 of the ​Maximum You workbook​ to guide your reflections.

2) Find ways to use your natural strengths every day. This includes contributing at work and also being a good friend, showing up for your family and community and improving your home environment.

3) Set yourself mini challenges. At least once a week, do something that takes you out of your comfort zone. Doing things that make us slightly nervous, or require an extra level of self-discipline, build our resilience and remind us that we are capable of taking on new challenges. Examples include talking to a stranger, tackling a task or difficult conversation you’ve been avoiding, increasing your weights in the gym or running an extra kilometre on the treadmill.

4) Build your competence to build your confidence. Identify areas you are less confident in, be honest with yourself if this is a skill you really want and need to improve, and if so then make a plan for how you can improve your competence in this area.

5) Celebrate success. When you do something well make sure to acknowledge this. Each evening I write down three things I did well that day, as part of my daily gratitude journaling. Mark bigger successes, such as achieving a big goal or getting through a particularly tough time, with a proper celebration, something that you will really enjoy. This could be going out for dinner with friends, treating yourself to a pampering experience or a day out doing something you love.